Things that have got my goat this week:
Facebook.
A cliche I know, but I'm getting tired of facebook. Facebook is getting like an elderly relative; you have to overlook that it's not as good or as fun as it used to be, and there is the increasingly bewildering array of racism that you have to turn a blind eye to.
I've reached the point where I'm starting to get sick of seeing things I actually agree with. For example, I think it terribly shameful that footballers are paid more than nurses I really do. But every time I see that smug, badly written, whiny poster on facebook I start to feel more inclined to side with those footballers. I start to find myself more forgiving of their fatuous, coke-snorting, misogynistic pointlessness and more enraged by the endless, futile chest-beating. Please don't think of this as an apology for trolling, it isn't and if all you have in your life is anonymously attacking people online in-between bouts of aggressive masturbation then I pity you.
Also, while we're about it, please please stop telling me to like things. I'm English. The very act of asking me to like something is almost guaranteed to make me take against it. If I like something, I'll find the page and like it without being asked. That's the point, or at least it should be. Are there people stupid enough to think that the reason we have yet to eradicate cancer or murder is an insufficient accumulation of clicking? Are there?? If there are then perhaps we ought to raze planet earth to the ground, wipe ourselves out and let the insects get on with doing things properly. Oh, and putting a slogan in white lettering on a photo of a dog/baby/character from The Goonies is not funny. It wasn't funny the first time and it's certainly not funny now. The same goes for that story about the teacher with the jar of pebbles and any post that tries to get me to stop being ashamed of being English. I'm not ashamed of being English or British. I am ashamed of idiots, and that's you.
Jeremy-flipping-Kyle.
Of all of the many reasons that there are to dislike Jeremy Kyle, the one that is getting at me right now (it's on in the background, that sound you can hear is me typing so hard that my fingers are going through the keyboard) is his surprise and frustration that the idiots who he is using to make money are too stupid to keep a conversation going. There are moments where he is leaps about the stage trying to get people to listen so that he can scream sound bites at the camera. He might as well be shouting "These chimps I've hired to throw poo at each other keep throwing poo at each other!"
And the captions! Those questions that they show on the bottom of the screen, presumably designed to ensure that the target audience doesn't forget the topic, are so astonishing that they are almost beyond satire, not that it really matters as the show is always always the same. An example from today: "Should I marry my cheating fiance even though he beats me?"
Um... no?
It's like we're watching a flash back scene from some awful post-apocalyptic movie. Imagine if there are aliens watching our airwaves right now. Really, imagine it. We're toast! If they show up bent on colonising humanity, we won't have a leg to stand on! It's ok though, I'm starting a page on facebook to stop us being enslaved by superior civilisations.
Click to like!
T
Facebook.
A cliche I know, but I'm getting tired of facebook. Facebook is getting like an elderly relative; you have to overlook that it's not as good or as fun as it used to be, and there is the increasingly bewildering array of racism that you have to turn a blind eye to.
I've reached the point where I'm starting to get sick of seeing things I actually agree with. For example, I think it terribly shameful that footballers are paid more than nurses I really do. But every time I see that smug, badly written, whiny poster on facebook I start to feel more inclined to side with those footballers. I start to find myself more forgiving of their fatuous, coke-snorting, misogynistic pointlessness and more enraged by the endless, futile chest-beating. Please don't think of this as an apology for trolling, it isn't and if all you have in your life is anonymously attacking people online in-between bouts of aggressive masturbation then I pity you.
Also, while we're about it, please please stop telling me to like things. I'm English. The very act of asking me to like something is almost guaranteed to make me take against it. If I like something, I'll find the page and like it without being asked. That's the point, or at least it should be. Are there people stupid enough to think that the reason we have yet to eradicate cancer or murder is an insufficient accumulation of clicking? Are there?? If there are then perhaps we ought to raze planet earth to the ground, wipe ourselves out and let the insects get on with doing things properly. Oh, and putting a slogan in white lettering on a photo of a dog/baby/character from The Goonies is not funny. It wasn't funny the first time and it's certainly not funny now. The same goes for that story about the teacher with the jar of pebbles and any post that tries to get me to stop being ashamed of being English. I'm not ashamed of being English or British. I am ashamed of idiots, and that's you.
Jeremy-flipping-Kyle.
Of all of the many reasons that there are to dislike Jeremy Kyle, the one that is getting at me right now (it's on in the background, that sound you can hear is me typing so hard that my fingers are going through the keyboard) is his surprise and frustration that the idiots who he is using to make money are too stupid to keep a conversation going. There are moments where he is leaps about the stage trying to get people to listen so that he can scream sound bites at the camera. He might as well be shouting "These chimps I've hired to throw poo at each other keep throwing poo at each other!"
And the captions! Those questions that they show on the bottom of the screen, presumably designed to ensure that the target audience doesn't forget the topic, are so astonishing that they are almost beyond satire, not that it really matters as the show is always always the same. An example from today: "Should I marry my cheating fiance even though he beats me?"
Um... no?
It's like we're watching a flash back scene from some awful post-apocalyptic movie. Imagine if there are aliens watching our airwaves right now. Really, imagine it. We're toast! If they show up bent on colonising humanity, we won't have a leg to stand on! It's ok though, I'm starting a page on facebook to stop us being enslaved by superior civilisations.
Click to like!
T
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